Life in the Jungle - The Balinese Toilet

The Balinese Toilet
(Adventures best avoided)

One thing that hasn’t changed is the Balinese toilet. To the Balinese, taking a bath, urinating, or defecating, are sometimes a social affair and always a very wet affair. I guess this should not be surprising for people that grew up doing the aforementioned activities in the local river. (Usually all at once, eeeewww). Many a time I would be driving down the road and I would see someone bathing, then someone washing cloths, then someone squat down waist deep with a stern look on their face. (Yes I was going up river, and please note there is no picture link) So it really should be no surprise that their idea of privacy in a bathroom is to have windows where there otherwise would be nothing. And that the floor should be wet as a river, with all the fixtures except the toilet draining or overflowing into it. And that hot water is a luxury. And toilet paper! Well I suppose that the thought never occurred to them. Who needs toilet paper when you are squatting in a river. After you are done, just reach around (with your left hand) swish a bit and you are clean as a whistle. I imagine that they have a very low occurrence of hemorrhoids. In the bathroom, a mandi basin and a scoop fill the need for water when there is no river present. (not that I have seen a river in a bathroom, but hey, this is Bali, it could happen).

And speaking of squatting, I have been lucky enough to avoid squat toilets, which are the norm in Bali.The first time I encountered a squat toilet was on my first trip to Bali (also with Matt). I believe we were shopping in Kuta when nature began knocking at the door. We asked one of the merchants where a toilet could be found and we were directed down a narrow street and up a walkway between two small shops. A boy was outside collecting 'fees' for use of the facilities. I figure I gotta go so I pay him the 50rp. I go inside and I am confused. Where is the toilet ? I stick my head outside and say to Matt, hey ! where the heck is the toilet, and where the heck is the toilet paper ? He smiles and hands me some paper napkins that he scarfed from a restaurant that we were at. After that I became very skilled at locating restaurants that had paper napkins on the table. Anyway, to really be prepared for squat toilets you have to have the right shoes and the right pants. Imagine having to completely remove your shoes, socks, and pants to use the toilet and the floor is wet and slimy. Try that with tennis shoes and socks on. I suppose you can take your pants down to your legs (and I heard the locals do) but the unskilled such as I have a very good chance of, how should I say, having an accident. You have to have good knees, good aim, and good balance. I have had several bad dreams about losing my balance and falling over in the middle of doing my business, or a foot slipping into the now used and as yet un-flushed toilet. No better I avoid this scenario all together. (and bring plenty of toilet paper) .

And just for the record, I will NEVER, NEVER kiss a Balinese’s feet, or their left hand for that matter.

Previous Next Home